Today is Monday. That means it’s crappy sitcom night in the U.S. It seems like these days anybody can make a TV show out of a completely stupid premise. The way I see it, “anybody” could refer to Jay Leno, George Bush, Johnnie Cochrain, Ozzy Osbourne, or me. The key word in there is “me”. So here’s my sitcom pitch.

Oh Nose
Starring:
Tom Cruise as the Protagonist
Angelina Jolie as the Ditzy Girlfriend
Randy Newman as the voice of the nostrils

Concept: Our protagonist awakes one morning to a horrible realization: Somehow, in the middle of the night, his nostrils gained the ability to talk! To make matters worse, each nostril has a completely different personality. Stunned and scared, our hero spends an entire episode running around and yelling.
The left nostril is the cool one. He plays basketball (basketbooger?), wears custom-designed Nikes, loves video games like Halo, constantly wears sunglasses, and says the word “dude” at the end of every sentence.
The right nostril is the nerdy one. He wears glasses and braces, has a lisp, has memorized pi to seven hundred places, prides himself on his pocket protector collection, loves video games like Mario, can recite the entire dictionary start-to-finish, and loves the word “antidisestablishmentarianism”.
Because the nostrils live right next to each other, they fight a lot. They also constantly annoy our hero. He tries to chat up girls, but the nostrils interrupt! Which nostril will he pick as his mentor, and which will be his shoulder devil? Only next week’s episode will tell!

QUESTION OF THE WEEK: Would you watch my sitcom, “Oh Nose”? Why?

This entry was posted on Monday, December 10th, 2007 at 4:30 pm and is filed under Question of the Week. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Comments are closed. Deal with it.